Understanding the Root of Big Feelings
Preschool years are an important time for emotional development. Young children are learning how to understand, express and regulate their feelings. And it’s important to remember that it is normal for a child to experience a rainbow of “big emotions”. The five core emotions present in young children are anger, fear, jealousy, sadness and joy. Discovering these feelings is a necessary process in your child’s development.
As babies grow, their emotional experiences literally become embedded within the architecture of their brains. Studies have found that during early stages of development, this emotional wiring mainly occurs during direct interactions with a caregiver. As children move into toddlerhood and preschool, they build on earlier wiring through personal experiences and social observations in and outside the home.
Our qualified ECE teachers at Junior Junction are trained in teaching children to use language
to communicate how they feel. Using words instead of having a melt down, can have lifelong implications. The earlier a child practices verbal communication, the easier their transition to school will be. Our focus is on positive outcomes, by guiding children to learn from their own experiences. A child that learns how to regulate their emotions will feel less overwhelmed. By the time they’re ready for school a child should have a strong emotional foundation with the ability to anticipate, discuss, and utilize their awareness of their feelings (and others) to best manage social interactions.
Monkey See – Monkey Do
Alongside using language, a very important step in healthy emotional development is mirroring balanced behaviour. Children learn mainly through observation. This is where you and your family’s guidance is key. Modeling emotions in a healthy way shows your child that she can also adapt well to challenging situations. This will have a life-long impact. Showing a child that you can regulate your emotions will empower them to do the same.
Big Emotion Triggers
Young children are just learning how to navigate the world around them. Their brains are developing rapidly, but the part of the brain responsible for self-control and emotional regulation is not yet fully developed.
Common triggers are:
- difficulty communicating their needs
- changes to routine
- feeling tired or hungry
- sharing or taking turns
- learning something new
- feeling socially overwhelmed
When children feel these emotions, they often express them through crying, yelling, tantrums or withdrawing.
Strategies to Help Preschoolers Manage Emotions
1. Teach Children to Name their Feelings
Helping children identify and lebel their emotions is the first step in emotional regulation. When children understand what they are feeling, they can begin to manage emotions more effectively.
For example, you might say, “I can see you’re feeling frustrated because the blocks fell over.” This helps a child build emotional awareness and a vocabulary to express themselves.
2. Stay Calm and Supportive
Children often look to adults to learn how to respond in emotional situations. When caregivers remain calm, it models healthy emotional responses. Respond with empathy and reassurance rather than punishment. A calm response helps children feel safe and supported while they learn to regulate their feelings.
3. Provide a Safe Space to Calm Down
Guide them to a quiet area where they can relax and calm down comfortably – this will assist with managing overwhelming feelings. The goal is not to punish, but provide the child an opportunity to reset and regulate. This space may include:
- soft cushions
- comforting toys
- books
- sensory tools such as stress balls
4. Teach Simple Calming Techniques
Preschoolers can learn basic strategies to calm themselves when emotions run high. Practicing these techniques regularly helps children remember them during challenging moments. These might include:
- taking deep breaths
- counting slowly to five
- hugging a favourite toy
- asking an adult for help
5. Acknowledge and Validate Feelings
It’s important for children to know that all emotions are valid, even if certain behaviours are not acceptable. For example, “It’s OK to feel angry, but it’s not OK to hit someone.” This teaches children the difference between feelings and actions.
6. Maintain Consistent Routines
Predictable routines help children feel secure. When children know what to expect, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed or anxious. Consistent routines for meals, playtime, rest, and transitions can reduce emotional outbursts. For example, when a child starts at Junior Junction, they begin a two week transition period of short visits each day to help them acclimate to their new environment, setting them up for success!
The Role of Parents and Educators
Supporting emotional development requires patience and consistency. Parents and eductors play a key role in helping children learn healthy ways to express and manage their feelings. By modeling calm behaviour, teaching emotional vocabulary and providing suppportive guidance, adults can help preschoolers develo9p important emotional skills that will benefit them throughout life.
